It's Been A Long Time

A lot has happened since my last post. Life has changed. My wonderful husband Steve has passed away. What a wonderful husband to me and father of our two daughters he was. He lived his life always thinking of others and putting himself last. He found his true calling after retirement from IBM when he became a teacher. He loved imparting his knowledge to his students. He was the most brilliant person I have ever known. Even though he had many inventions to his credit dealing with cryogenics, his true brilliance was his broad knowledge of a lot of topics. He loved learning and life. He was always so excited to find a new scrap of information that he didn't know. He dove into growing rare and tropical fruit here in Florida. We joined organizations dedicated to growing and propagating them and he loved learning and the people that we came to know in the clubs.
As I was mowing our back fields today, I noticed that Steve's persimmon trees were budding out and the citrus had new flowers and a new flush of leaves. It suddenly hit me with a physical force that he wasn't there to share the new season with me or our family. He wasn't there to share Amanda's joy on being engaged to a wonderful man. He wasn't there to share in Steph's new adventures. He wasn't there to tell me, "She is just perfect." Tears blinded me as I tried to mow. The tractor's roar covered my sobs. We had scattered Steve's ashes across our property but especially on the plants and areas that he loved the most. I feel his hand on my shoulder as I continue to mow. I know he loved us. I know he loved our life.
I hope I can continue to be a good custodian of our land. I hope that I can support our daughters as Steve would have. I will try hard. I miss him lots. He was just perfect.